Updated: Jan 10, 2022
Finding self-love, kindness, and creating a pathway to enjoyment .
We're often told that in order to find happiness and fulfillment in life, we must find a life partner. We see this illustrated time and time again in books, stories, and movies. Society, family, and peers weigh-in on this matter, adding extra pressure to meet these expectations of a 'happily-ever-after'. Do you ever feel as if you're trying to live up to the expectations of others, but feeling unfulfilled with your own experiences? Being single does not mean you are 'unlovable' or 'odd', and it does not mean you will be lonely. In fact, being single can lead to greater self growth, more time for self-care, give you the freedom to explore and grow without any associated guilt.
“...being single can lead to greater self growth, more time for self-care, give you the freedom to explore and grow without any associated guilt.”
Taking time for self-reflection can increase confidence, and understanding of the self and others, improve emotional intelligence, provide clarity and improve decision-making skills. Self-reflection can also improve self-awareness, help us strategize, and spot opportunities and threats in our day-to-day.
Commit to Yourself
The first step to feeling confident and comfortable with your single-status is to fully commit to yourself. What does that even mean? It means agreeing to do something important. It means taking the time you need to think before acting. When you are able to do this, you are being completely open and honest with yourself. You can start by writing down a pledge to yourself, noting your intentions and goals. You may reach out for support or find resources that can help you achieve your goals.
Committing to yourself means engaging in self-compassion - self-kindness, nonjudgment, and being warm and understanding of ourselves, even in times of self-doubt, feelings of inadequacy, failures or suffering.
Know Your Worth
Knowing your worth means boosting your self-esteem. High self-esteem produces enjoyable feelings and increases positive feelings, further increasing one's initiative. We often allow external events to determine our self-worth, yet we are also selective about which external events (or people) affect us. Therefore, since it is often based upon external events, we can control what events we engage in, and where we may find ourselves. Engaging in activities or events that elicit positive emotions, feelings, and boost our self-confidence can further enhance and increase our self-esteem and self-worth.
Engage in Self-Care
In western society, we often have feelings of shame or guilt associated with taking time for ourselves. Investing our time and energy into ourselves, and recharging our batteries. We have been taught to work, earn, and stay busy, but where does that get us?
Self-care has become such a "buzzword" over the past few years, and means so much to many of us during a pandemic as well. Self-care can be many things, whether it is spiritual, physical, psychological, emotional, professional, or personal in nature.
Self-care may involve eating healthy, developing a sleep routine, taking breaks at work, spending time with our pets/walking them, using sick time, or getting regular exercise in. It may also mean connecting spiritually by walking in nature, meditating, going to mass, or dancing around your living room.
Self-care may lead us into new hobbies, which can further enhance our self-growth, self-worth, and self-esteem. Finding an activity that you excel in can enhance positive emotions, and teach us to embrace ourselves further.