Coping with Grief During the Holidays

Grief is an unfortunate process that everyone will experience at some point in their lifetime. If you are currently grieving, you may already be anticipating how difficult the holiday season might feel and wondering how you will cope.

Grief during the holidays can bring a mixture of intense and conflicting emotions. Moments expected to be filled with laughter and joy may suddenly shift to sadness, longing, or withdrawal as familiar traditions highlight the absence of a loved one.

If you anticipate experiencing grief and its emotional unpredictability this holiday season, the following coping strategies may be helpful.

Set Realistic Expectations

Remind yourself that this year’s holidays may not look or feel the same as they have in the past. Allow yourself extra time and space to feel your emotions and process your thoughts as you move through holiday traditions. Be honest with yourself about your needs. If attending one gathering instead of several feels like all you can manage, it is okay to communicate this to your family and set boundaries that support your well-being.

Lean on Supportive Relationships

Surround yourself with family and friends who genuinely care for and support you. If you are comfortable, share with them how you are feeling and let them know how they can best support you this holiday season. This may involve delegating tasks you would typically take on, such as baking or hosting, or it may mean adjusting expectations, such as attending a family event for a shorter period of time.

Seek Comfort in Meaningful Ways

Find what brings you comfort during this time, whether that means engaging in self-care, volunteering to support others, or inviting someone who may be alone during the holidays to join your celebrations.

Allow Space for all Emotions

Grief includes a wide range of emotions—joy, love, sadness, anger—and all of them are valid. Be gentle with yourself and remember that everyone experiences grief differently. One person may laugh, while another may feel anger and withdraw. There is no “right” way to grieve, and it is okay if your emotional experience looks different from those around you.

Create New Traditions or Adapt Existing Ones

Some traditions may feel too painful to continue, and that’s okay. Consider modifying them or creating new traditions that better support your current needs. This could include taking a trip, trying new holiday activities that you’ve always wanted to experience, or engaging in celebrations that feel more manageable this year.

Prioritize your Mental Health

Take care of yourself by avoiding unhealthy coping strategies, such as using alcohol or substances to manage your emotions. Try to limit situations that feel overwhelming, like last-minute shopping or overcommitting to events. Support your well-being by engaging in grounding activities such as walking, journaling, meditation, or scheduling a therapy session before or after family gatherings.

Honour your Loved One in Meaningful Ways.

If it feels right, find ways to honour your loved one’s memory during the holiday season. This might include sharing stories about them, preparing their favourite holiday dish, or engaging in an activity they loved. Creating meaning around your loss can be a powerful way to stay connected while allowing space for grief.

Grief takes time to process, and the most important thing to remember is that there is no right or wrong way to grieve—especially during the holidays. Do what feels right for you, and please know that you are not alone.

Written by Stephanie Bolduc